A Surprise Ending

On Monday evening Hans died. (I use those words precisely because they are so harsh. They stab me in the heart every time I say them, but they point me to the gravity of sin.) Were it not for the work of Jesus on the Cross, death would be an intolerable agony, but because of the Cross something wonderful has happened.

Om Tuesday, through the ordinary course of the day, I found myself alone. I had wanted some time to process the events of the week, but I hadn't intended to be left completely alone. I was. The quietness of the house was overwhelming. Hans' bedroom was empty, hospice having removed everything. I began the sobering chore of cleaning up. I brought into the room, which used to be his office before his sickness— the heavy armoir that doubled as a bookcase. I brought in a desk, side table, lamps, rug, pictures and two new side chairs. I sent up pictures of all the kids on desk tops and shelves. Then I began organizing his closet—all his shoes, clothes and unmentionables. I found all his hats (8 or 9) and displayed all of them on top of the armoir. His favorite books, tie, and computer where set in place. It was beautiful! It was serene. Hans' office was back.

As I walked back to my room, I felt strangely calm and very loved. The emptiness I had so long dreaded and feared  had disappeared and in its place was Hans' love for me. Beneath that love was the love of God. To my surprise I found that God had not taken all of my husband, He left in place the love we have shared for so long. I didn't feel "widowed" (which means separated); nor did I feel uncovered, or any of the things I feared. Hans lives in my heart, as he always has. Nothing was different in essence.  Love is more than geography. He is merely in another room. We are only separated by a veil and that veil shall be removed when my mortality puts on immortality as he has done.


What a lovely surprise. Only God can do these things. The chaplain of hospice called me today and asked how I was doing. I told him all that had happened. He said, "It is the Lord!" Those who do not have the Resurrection in them do not experience this. We have this Resurrection—It is the Lord!