Its still cold outside but even colder inside. I long for days of uninterrupted silence where I can be alone with God. My juices are not flowing this day, will be locked into an embrace of my inner healing posture with a client for several hours which requires an incredible amount of physical fortitude..on the the part of my brain. Tracking people's thoughts is hard work. Often they do not know where they are going either. But we know that ultimately the Spirit will guide them to the right place. Afterwards I can do nothing but eat and rest. In the old days, my honey would take me out for lunch. Today I meet with a group of widows to eat together and complain about the weather. Perhaps its the weather in our inner gardens that we are ultimately grieving...
I met with a man who lost his wife. He said half of his heart died the day she did. He can't get started living anymore, the fuse has been pulled. He is young and has decades ahead of him. I hope and pray that soon God will set him free from the weight of loss upon him. Perhaps by Valentine's day he will have his heart back or grow another one. The wound in my heart is healing, but there is no growth yet to replace what was ripped away. Left is just a cauterized wound, not bleeding as much as before...but now I feel like the guy with the missing leg. He still tries to walk on it, only to fall down and then remember...Oh, it's gone.
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