It's Tulip Time!

March 30, 2011

They say that every time a baby is born you should plant a fruit tree and when the tree is mature, eating of it will cause you to remember the lovely person you have sent into the world—to bless it with its own unique seed of goodness. But when a person dies, what is done? I am planting dozens of tulips today. They are in a see-through bag and are already sprouting stems. They are straining for a piece of ground, sun and water. "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." John 12:24

Today we are looking for a piece of ground to bury my husband. For when he has been sown into the ground he will no longer be alone, he will be with all the Angels, his mother, his sisters Anne and Lyda and little brother Sam. He will see Frank Fueille for whom he prayed so hard. He will see Lyn's daddy too. He will see my Dad, though in the distant crowd. He will see little cousin Hector and the myriad of saints who have prayed for us down the centuries. He will enter into that great cloud ....of God and those who loved not the world. 

Part of me is incredulous,  I cannot imagine life without Hans?  We have been like two peas in a divine pod for so long—like conjoined twins of the heart. We have grown from infancy to maturity together into oaks of righteousness, strengthened by the underground waters of the Spirit. The shade we provide in the wilderness is made up of two sets of arms—strong from use and scarred from warfare. Will I be a mutilated tree now?  I know you will think, why is she carrying on so? Don't you see? We (together) are God's handiwork. He made us in His image. Our union was a work of God in the flesh. I weep for the beauty of that. We (Hans and Judy) were God's idea. We did not call ourselves together. He did it and for that I am profoundly grateful.  I know that God will  take care of me through the final untying of our souls.  God made us one and now will make something new from our  labors. This is the legacy of the servants of the Lord. 

I laugh because I always thought our "work" was teaching, instructing, giving light in the darkness, but our true work was in loving God with all our hearts, mind and souls. Isn't that hilarious? We thought it was A but in the end it turned out to be Z. No wonder there can be no regret. 

I told a friend recently that death is not retreat for a Christian, nor is it even sadness. It is truly  a celebration. Hans MUST put off mortality so that he can put on immortality. Jesus said to the women of Jerusalem,..."Daughters of Jerusalem, stop weeping for Me, but weep for yourselves and for your children." A Christian moves from glory to glory so perhaps we only weep for ourselves?

Today is a marker day. The coldness of his feet has reached to his legs, hands to arms. Sleep is the  body entering coma, that is the technical name for it. The nurse is coming today. If he remains like this for a few more days,  it will soon be  time to call the kids in from the fields. He will be 75 on April 8. They have planned to come that day. Wouldn't it be great if....


And having said all that (by faith) when we leave this healing cottage, I'm uprooting the tulips and taking them with me.